The Hardest Fire to Quench is a sermon teaching us to control our tongues so as to build each other up and not tear each other down.

Key verses:
James 3:1-10

Alright, let’s take our Bibles to James chapter three this morning. And this I’ll just do just once. This is the first time since I’ve been married that I’ve preached at a service. That’s the only time I’ll move to that right now.

But James chapter three, as we look into our verse and into our Bibles here this morning, I want us to start to think about this idea. But what we are going to talk about this morning, some of you are probably very familiar with this passage of scripture. It is a reminder for some of us because we go through life, and there are certain times that things happen, and we can forget how powerful this can be.

It is one of the smallest things in the world, and it only measures 3 or 3-1/2 inches at the most. It can cause good, but it can also cause destruction and chaos. It can work pretty hard, yet it can be hard to control when we speak about our tongue.

This morning I want to see and examine our tongue and see how we can control it, but also see what harm it can do. We’re looking at James chapter three, and I want us to look at verse number five. We are going to look at verses 1 through 10 and then 2 other passages, 1 verse each as we finish out. In James 3:1, the Bible tells us:

James 3:1: “My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.”

I submit to you this morning as we look into the verses here that we should control and think of what we say. They can either build up or tear someone down. And that is the power of our tongue which is the hardest fire to quench. We’re going to look at how that is and how we can try to control it.

An Offending Little Member

So, first of all, I want us to look at this little member here, verses one through five. Verse one in James chapter three says this:

James 3:1: “My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.”

What in the world is James talking about here? The idea here is that a “master” is a teacher. Be not many teachers. Why? For they “shall receive the greater condemnation.” As people teach, they are accountable for what they teach and what they say. If something they teach is false, they are going to be held accountable for that. So, James is kind of indicating here, “Hey, my brethren, those who are saved, those who are in the Lord, you’re a teacher. Be careful.” Know what you are teaching and teach it accurately. Why? Because if you teach wrong, you will receive greater condemnation.

James 3:2: “For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.”

“Offending” here has an idea of trick, err, or to sin, or this idea of to fall. So, in many things, we offend all. “If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man.” Have you ever been able to always tell the same thing and to tell it without offending people? I can tell you, I haven’t.

There’ve been times I said something like, “Should of never said that.” I’m sure all of us can think of an example like that. We, unfortunately, cause people to do wrong in the way that we speak or in the way that we say something. And how do we know this? It is building up in verse five, where the verse continues and says the one who was “the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.”

Control Our Tongue

If we can control ourselves, we can help others not to fall or err. The Holy Spirit is able to give us that self-control. And we need to pray for that, that we can have that self-control. Galatians 5:23 says it’s one of the fruits of the spirit. Self-control, the word you read there is temperance. So, now James gives us some illustrations of control.

James 3:3: “Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.”

A bit is not really that big if you really look at it. It’s a metal piece about 4-1.2 to 6 inches, depending on the horse. It’s not really much. You put it inside the mouth, and it secures on the sides, and you use the reins and use that to guide that horse. That little, small piece is able to guide, and you can control that horse. If that’s not on the horse’s mouth, is that horse in your control? Most likely not, especially if you are on top of it. Most likely it’s going to try to get you off or something else like that.

So, verse three says, “Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.” You move that little bit to the left, and you move the horse left, and if you move right, it goes right, and you’re going to go right with it. Think of verse number four:

James 3:4: “Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.”

“Behold also the ships, which though they be so great,” – think of those ships, some of them can be so big that you can think of like the Titanic, the Lusitania. And some of these great ships, these cruise ships, all these big immaculate ships, how are they turned? By a small rudder. Think about it, verse four:

James 3:4: “Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.”

When you turn that ship, you don’t see the whole boat bend when you turn. No, it’s in the water and a small piece depending on the size of the boat, it could be a little bigger, but it’s not terribly big, which causes the ship to turn direction that you want to go. So, he gives these illustrations. We come back to verse number five, which is our text verse:

James 3:5: “Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!”

“Even so the tongue is a little member” – probably one of the smallest things on us and our human body is our tongue. There are other small things. You have your pinky toe and things like that. But in a matter of things that operate in your body, it’s a small body, but it does a lot of things. Once again, verse five, “Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things.” How do you speak? [making sounds without using tongue] You may understand some things, but the tongue helps you with words. You have to use your tongue to pronounce your words.

When I was younger, until fourth or fifth grade, all my Rs sounded like W. You could basically say I had the Elmer Fudd syndrome. Instead of “rubber,” it would be “wubber.” Why? The difference is you have to curl your tongue to get the R sound out for you to pronounce that word properly. Okay, so even if the tongue is a small member, it boasteth great things. It boasts, it talks big and arrogant. It can be egotistic. It “boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!”

Think of all of the wars that have happened in world history. Some were caused by accident, while others were caused by words. Words cause conflict. Some can do great things but also do some bad things. We see here that James was leading up to this point about the tongue, but now we are going to see what he says about it more specifically.

The Least Controlled Member

Verses 6 through 10 show us here that it’s a member that is least controlled. We could control a lot of things, but sometimes it’s hard to control what comes out of our mouths.

James 3:6: “And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.”

“And the tongue is a fire” – a fire, agitated, continually blazing. It can agitate a situation. Have you ever tried to come along to a situation, then you kind of say something, and it just blows it up a little more so? The “tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity” – the idea here is injustice or wrongfulness of character. “The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity” causing a lot of things that should not be so.

In verse six, “so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body” – defileth here is the idea of disdain or soil. People judge us by what we say and what we do by our actions. And if you say something that’s wrong, how are people going to remember you, by that word, by that thing you said?

The tongue, it defiles, it stains, it soils “and setteth on fire” – this idea here will cause a blaze to ignite or to inflame with passion. It sets on fire the course of nature. The nature is this idea of a circular physical effect or wheel. The tongue can start a fire, continually burn and get bigger, bigger, and bigger. Imagine if you have a tire spinning in water. Before you accelerate in water, the higher up, the water starts to kick up. The tongue can start something and keep it spinning, get it going quicker, and what’s the end result of that? It “is set on fire of hell.” It sets in motion a chain reaction of events that can cause destruction. Words can cause harm.

James 3:7: “For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:”

Most of the animals, you have a dog, you have a cat. What do you do? You tame it. You can control that certain animal, whatever you decide to have as a pet. Most animals in nature will not go after human beings unless they are provoked.

I was telling somebody the other day, that we took our teenagers many years ago; we took them canoeing, kayaking, one of those two up at Jonathan Dickenson State Park. I saw an alligator over here on the side of the shore, and some of the guys were hitting the water a little bit. They’re trying to splash the water. And there were trees nearby between where they were at and where they were supposed to go, which is where I was on the other side of the tree. So, I hear them saying, “Oh alligator, come here, alligator. They may have named it Alex. Who knows.” They were trying to get this alligator to react. Then once they see the alligator, they look around and turn around. You hear this loud “Ahh!” and they are trying to paddle away, and you hear this scare. Why? They agitated that animal.

Most animals will not come after you. I didn’t say all, most. You go out here, and you go to a field and see a garden snake roaming around there. Just leave it alone. As long as you don’t try to poke it and stuff, it’s going to do its own little business, slither away and not harm or affect you. Animals are tamed, and we typically control them.

James 3:8: “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”

“But the tongue can no man tame;” – the tongue cannot be tamed, fully controlled by man. “It is an unruly evil,” – it is unrestrainable. That’s the idea here behind unruly. “Full of deadly poison” – it can cause rust or venom. It can cause things to harm and sicken people.

If your love language is words of affirmation and someone says something negative about you, it affects you quite a bit. It will affect you more than other things people will say. Why? Because people with the love language of words of affirmation like to hear words of encouragement, but if they’re torn down, that’s really going to affect them quite a bit.

We won’t be able to subdue it like an animal, but we can control our tongue by how much damage it causes.

A Slandering Tongue

A slanderer can ruin people. How do we see that? Well, let’s look at verse number nine:

James 3:9: “Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.”

“Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men,” – slanderers can ruin people. Saying something false about someone changes the perception of someone. Are you saying something behind someone’s back about somebody else? No, it’s not right. We’re going to look at some Bible verses and principles later on that show us that.

But we ought not to be people, especially those who are saved who are children of God, talking negatively about other people. We’re supposed to be unified and be one together. You know, all of us are different. All of us are unique. Dare I say all of us are weird? We all have different things that we do. Just because someone doesn’t fit our mold, or should be, “Oh, we have to try to degrade that person, push that person, and turn everybody’s opinion against that person.” And it happens in the world. That even happens in churches. Verse nine again:

James 3:9: “Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.”

We can say we love God and degrade a person. Why? Man is created by God. “Similitude” has this idea of resemblance. “Curse” means to doom, to extract. We can cause people to be cursed, we can curse people and cause them to fall, cause them to fall away from the faith. Why? Because of the words that we speak.

James 3:10: “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”

“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing” – you can say something great about a person in one sense and the next thing you know, you can say something negative. How is that? Well, verse eight:

James 3:8: “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”

“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing.” And notice at the end of verse 10, here, “My brethren,” – again, he is talking to believers here in his writing, here’s what he says about this, “these things ought not so to be.” We shouldn’t be one way and then be the other way. We ought to be able to control our tongue. You can’t be positive and negative at the same time because we’ve got to be a blessing or don’t say anything at all.

Correction is different than murmuring or slandering or gossiping or complaining. You can correct somebody, but once you go behind their back and say something negative about that person, to not talk to that person directly, now you slander, now you’re gossiping.

Things Not to Do

You see, it’s a hard thing to control our mouth, to subdue our mouth, but how do we control it? We can’t tame it, but how can we control it?

Here are some things not to do. If you have your Bibles to James chapter three, go over to chapter four and verse number 11. Don’t speak evil about others:

James 4:11: “Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.”

We ought not to speak evil against each other. That’s one way we can control ourselves is not to do that. Titus 3:2, you don’t have to turn there. A lot of these verses I will be quoting.

Titus 3:2: “To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.”

Another thing we don’t need to do with our tongue is to sow discord.

Proverbs 6:16: “These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:”

Proverbs 6:17: “A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,”

Proverbs 6:18: “An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,”

Proverbs 6:19: “A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.”

What’s another thing we should not do with our tongue? Is number three, we should not be a busybody.

I Timothy 5:15: “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.”

If someone tells me something personal to them, I’m not just going to tell it to anybody else. If they let me say it to my wife, then that’s all I’m going to go to. But if someone tells me something personal about them, I’m not going to say, “Hey, look what this person’s done.” Now, what am I doing? I’m breaking their confidentiality, and I may be saying something that may not be true.

But there are people who are tattlers. And a tattler has this idea of a patterer or bubble-popper, a busybody, and has this idea of a meddler working all around. They try to find something to do, so they try to get into other people’s business, see what they can hear, and then move over here and say, “Hey, you know what this person said? He said this and this and this.” They are constantly trying to find a way to keep going, and that is all they are satisfied to do, is trying to find out about everybody else and know what they’re doing. What does the Bible say?

I Timothy 5:15: “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.”

There are just certain things that don’t need to be said.

The fourth thing is don’t lie.

Proverbs 10:18: “He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.”

We ought not to do that as brethren, as people who are children of God, we ought not to do that.

So, how can we control our tongue? These are things we shouldn’t do but obviously other things, but these are big things we do with our mouths, what we say. But how can we control it?

Ways to Control Our Mouth

Let’s look at four ideas here, and then we’ll be finished. Number one, treat others the way you want to be treated.

Luke 6:31: “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.”

Do you want someone to speak of you negatively? Go ahead and talk negatively to other people but don’t be surprised when someone says something bad about you.

Number two, keep it from evil.

Psalm 34:13: “Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.”

Be careful, be watchful. The term says think before you speak. I’m a big believer in that. Think before you speak. I’ll tell you this and then will give you the last two. But this happened the other day, the other week. I won’t go into too much detail. But I remember what I had said and turned somebody away. Why? Because a situation had come where I was being introduced to somebody as the assistant pastor. And instead of greeting somebody as they ought, they didn’t. I was very harsh with the way I had said something.

And what did I do? I literally turned this person away from someone at church because of how someone at church acted. Our tongue can do good, or it can also turn people away. I’m not proud of that. I still think about that a week and a half later because I possibly have caused someone not to be able to come into the church and hear the Word of God, because of something I had said while being under stress or whatever the case may have gone on that day. I don’t know what was going on that day. I know it wasn’t right, and it caused someone to have a bad impression. Keep it from evil.

Psalm 34:13: “Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.”

Number three, watch what we say.

Psalm 141:3: “Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.”

Proverbs 17:28: “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.”

Proverbs 18:21: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”

Build Each Other Up

Watch what we say. And finally, is this. How can we control ourselves? Lift up and edify each other. That’s the last verse we are going to look at this morning. It says this:

Ephesians 4:28: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

We have to build each other up. Our tongues, what we say, have to build each other up, not tear anybody down. May we be people who build up each other, not gossip, not slander, not murmur against others, especially those of the church. We ought to build each other up and not tear each other down. We are one body in Christ and if we have issues with someone, go to them instead of talking behind their back. The world does that enough.

Elections, what do people do in elections? They mudsling and they slander people, but whether it’s true or not, let the world do that. It shouldn’t be in the church house. We are not going to be able to tame it. No man can tame, but we can control it. There are ways in which we can control it, and we have to allow God to use us to control what we say and to do what? His will for our lives.

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Father, we come to you in prayer. We are thankful for thee. We thank you for the opportunity to be here together. Father, I pray that you would just help us examine ourselves here at this time. Just help us however you move in our hearts, move in our lives. I pray that if there is something that’s hindering us or what we are saying is drawing people away from you, that you would help us to be able to control our tongue, control the things that we say, and things that we do. Father, I pray that you would help us just to guard our lips and our mouth and help us understand that we may not be able to tame it but that we can control it with your help.

Father, maybe there is someone in this room who has never asked Jesus Christ to be their Savior, they are not sure about it. I pray that they would. It is not the thrust that we were talking about this morning, but Father, I pray that there is someone like that here today. I’d like to pray that they understand, first of all, that they’re sinners. We’ve all done wrong, and because of that, it is the reason why we are separated from you, and the reason why we need a Savior is because of our sin. I pray that they would understand that and that they ask your Son Jesus Christ to forgive them of their sin, to save their soul, and to be given eternal life that you would give them, that free gift of salvation that’s been offered. But all we have to do is take it, nothing more, nothing less.

Father, I ask that you bless and move now in this invitation time in which you convicted us of something we’ve done or something we need to get right with you; you would move in our hearts and our lives. When we pray and use this time of invitation to be able to draw closer to you and restore our walk with you. We ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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